The Problem with Flexibility Goals and What to Focus on Instead

If "improving flexibility" was on your New Year’s list but didn’t stick, here’s what might have distorted it and how to approach stretching and flexibility differently. 

There's a high chance the original intention was to feel better in your body. But somewhere along the way, that intention may have morphed into a goal. And goals can sometimes feel like they need evidence of progress. Or perhaps simply thinking of the term 'flexibility' was accompanied by an outcome.

I think it’s fair to blame high school sit-and-reach tests 👊. If you couldn’t touch your toes or reach a certain number... bah bommm, sorry ❌ not flexible. 

But let’s go back to the word itself:

flex = to bend
-ibility = ability, capacity

Flexibility ≠ party trick
Flexibility ≠ touching your toes

Flexibility ≠ being able to do the splits

No part of the word outlines a benchmark or physical achievement.

Flexibility = the ability or capacity to bend. That's it. Simply a function. 

How to Reframe Flexibility Goals with Curiosity

Whenever I choose a goal that stems from curiosity, it feels more like something to explore rather than a place to get to. Something ongoing that can shift, adapt, and take on different meanings over time.

When it comes to stretching, it might begin as a desire to relieve pain or improve posture. During demanding times, it might be the thing that helps you unwind and chill out before bed. Or if you find yourself being pulled into your running era, it might become a non-negotiable for looking after your legs. 

Rather than having an end goal for improving flexibility, try switching it up for something a little more curious.

Instead of "touch my toes" or "do the splits" try... 

✨ I wonder how free I can feel in my body
✨ I wonder how it would feel to move with ease
✨ I wonder how it would feel to be pain free

PS. These aren't random suggestions, they're the exact thoughts I had in my early 20s when I was spending days couch-bound from excruciating back pain due to unmanaged scoliosis. At the time they weren't goals – I was at the end of the road, genuinely wondering if it was possible to not be in debilitating pain. Those thoughts sparked habits that changed my life.

If the word flexibility carries any kind of pressure, ditch it altogether. Simply think of stretching as 'gentle movement'. You don't need to be 'more flexible' or focus on 'improving your flexibility'.

The goal is to feel better in your body, not to tick off a performance metric.

Your body will feel different every day – bendy one week, stiff the next. Who cares, stretch anyway. Some days it's for your body. Other days it's for your mind.

Turning Curiosity Into a Stretching Habit

Once you've got your curious little statement, find simple ways to turn it into a stretching habit. 

Can you pair it with something you already do daily?
How can you make it something you genuinely enjoy?

Here are some easy ways to stretch at home, especially if you're tired, feeling lazy, or only have 10 minutes:

• Pop on your favourite artist and stretch while listening to a few songs (or an entire album)
• Shift from the couch to the lounge room floor and stretch while watching Netflix
• Add a few gentle stretches to your wind-down routine – brush your teeth, stretch your body, go to bed
  
  

Why Flexibility Goals Can Backfire

Over the past decade, I've learnt a few lessons from the goals I didn't reach. Here are some limitations I've noticed that can be helpful to keep in mind.

• You tick it off your list and figure it’s time to move on
• Stretch in order to reach a goal…
• Abandon the habit of making time for your body

• Your hips and hammies are loving life
• The rest of your body feels forgotten

• The goal felt too big, too hard, or not worth following through
• You quietly cross it off your list and feel a bit guilty
• You miss the opportunity to find something enjoyable and sustainable

This only took me a few decades to learn:

Reaching specific 'flexibility goals' isn’t going to transform your life.

But making regular time for yourself to gently move and unwind will.

Aim of the Game

Reframe flexibility so stretching can be about how it feeeeels, not how far we get.

Start small, stay curious, and come back to your body – it will tell you what it needs.

Tools That Help You Stay Consistent with Stretching

✨ If you'd like some help creating an enjoyable and sustainable habit, grab my free Get a Gold Star accountability tracker. Print it out, stick it somewhere obvious, and give yourself a gold star every time you stretch.

✨ Need a daily reminder to stretch? The Get Bendy poster is a full-body stretching routine that takes the thinking out of it. Just pop it on your wall, plonk yourself in front of it, and follow along. It's the perfect way to take a break from screens, slow down, and reconnect with your body. You can follow it from top to bottom, or pick and choose whatever you feel like in the moment.

→ Download Get a Gold Star
→ Learn more about the Get Bendy full-body stretching poster