I'm a big list writer, so of course I found enjoyment writing a list of traits I'd like in a partner. This particular list is very new. It's quite entertaining to know how it has evolved over a year.
I was convinced I knew exactly what he looked like. Tall, tan, and blonde. Oh and longer hair was defs a big tick. Was I seriously just looking for the male version of myself? Yeah probs. I was so certain on what he looked like that I wouldn't even take a second look at guys with any other hair colour. It got to the point where all of my friends would point out or tag me in photos of any guy that fitted that description. 'Oh Eliza he's the oneee!' To which I'd reply 'ahhhh no, it's not just any guy with long blonde hair and a mo!' Obviously looks weren't the only thing on my list. He had to be funny & intelligent too. Der.
A few months passed and I decided I wanted to be more specific. I wanted to get outrageously specific. Some pretty sound relationship advice I've received in the past is to 'never settle'. In typical Eliza fashion I had to learn that lesson for myself. But after establishing the following:
- A bunch of EPIC girl friends that I can piss myself laughing with every day; and
- Being incredibly content on my own...
I felt ready to write that outrageously specific list. I figured - I am in absolutely no rush so I may as well have fun visualising perfection ;).
Warning. The following list from the notes app on my phone is pretty poetic and soppy. But there's a reason this is called my JOURNAL. I'm an open book. Literally and figuratively.
- Above all, you are my best friend.
- Effortless conversation. The kind that never runs out. Even in silence.
- The ability to make me laugh all of my laughs. From a quiet shake of the chest to an uncontrollable hyena, and everything in between.
- I'm more 'me' than I'll ever be, that's the effect you have. Because that's what best friends do - they bring out the best in you.
- You amplify this feeling of joy and love. To be honest I'm not sure that's even possible.
- I don't ever want to feel like 'too much' or worry about being 'too intense'. If people say 'they are almost TOO perfect for each other' well that's acceptable, but perfection doesn't need an adverb.
- I look at you and everything is perfect. Faultless, flawless. 'Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.'
- You are a combination of everything I have been seeking.
- I want to know how your mind works. I want you to describe the minor details of your day with words I've never heard. Or maybe I have heard them, but not in the way you poetically string sentences together.
- I want to share as many sunrises and sunsets with you as humanly possible. Regardless of whether you're by my side.
- Everything is easy.
- I feel at home.
And look, there were a few other key points but gotta keep some things private don't I?
I love sharing things like this because I think 'if I love doing this, someone else is guaranteed to love it too'. It's healthy and exciting to use your imagination. It's also very healthy to get clear on your values and what you would like to experience in this life.
If you had to read your book, would you be happy with the chapter on your relationship? If the answer is no, it's time to start editing.