Helpful and Kind 21 October 2014

“One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”

― Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Right wing, left wing, meat eater, vegan, religious - I don't care what group you label yourself. I'm now realising that I don't mind what my decisions are as long as I try and think to myself 'is this helpful?' and 'is this kind?'. Of course I am human and if I snap at a family member when I'm hungry this may not be 'kind' :p but I do my best. 

I love that every day I learn new things. My beliefs, perspectives, values, ideas are always changing and growing. I don't base my decisions on whether or not they belong to a certain group. I don't even care if something I say today contradicts something I said last week. 

"You're under no obligation to be the person you were 5 minutes ago." - Unknown

I used to be really attached to what I thought my morals and beliefs were. It got to a point where I thought 'wait a minute.. why are they the way they are?' This was at a point where I really struggled with judgement. I was very black and white. If something didn't fit either end of that spectrum I didn't know what to do with it. Things are completely different now, and constantly changing. 

Some people think their occupation defines them. That's ok. But before I created Elle Fit Active I hated trying to tell people what I do. 'I'm studying Law', but I felt like I quickly needed to add 'but that's not me in a nut shell'. Because I knew exactly what category that person was placing me in. 

This year I have learnt so many new things and have really started getting super honest with myself.

  • I stopped watching TV (apart from the occasional Suits episode) and started watching more TED talks.
  • I moved from the city to the beach because that is where I AM HAPPY, I don't care if some people think I should apply for a clerkship and hope for a grad job in a top tier law firm - that isn't what I want to do.
  • I started spending less time on Facebook and Instagram at night and began reading books, not on a kindle or iPad, a proper book (non fiction/ educational books).
  • I started caring about what food I was eating, where it has come from, how it makes my body feel.
  • I stopped reading articles on news websites or thinking I had to choose which political party I wanted to agree with (because I don't feel 100% comfortable meshing with any). My source of news now comes from following the Michael Leunig Appreciation Page on Facebook and anything I hear through friends/family/ the odd post on social media.
  • I realised that I hate slimy and heartless advertising and you don't in fact need to follow standard marketing techniques to share a message.
  • I realised that I didn't have to be pissed off with having a shit memory, I could actually do something about it - organising my room, office, bathroom in an almost obsessive-compulsive manner means that now I know exactly what I have and where it is. This is such a massive relief for me. To give you a random insight - I ended up with 4 bags of frozen mango in my freezer because every time I went to the shop I thought I had run out, this starts to get incredibly frustrating when it happens all the time.
  • I realised that it's ok to be a beginner and learn something new at 23 - ie. surfing, and I guess yoga last year.
  • It's ok to be super honest in friendships and relationships rather than hold on/ make something work that isn't working. It's also ok to say how you feel. Talk about emotions. Be unapologetically honest even if you think it sounds stupid. 
  • It's ok to have a burning feeling of joy in your chest one day, and then be curled up in a ball having an existential crisis the next.
This list could seriously be the length of a thesis but I'll stop here and leave you with a couple of quotes.. because I really need to get back to doing some assignments. 


“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” 

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” 

“Live your truth. Express your love. Share your enthusiasm. Take action towards your dreams. Walk your talk. Dance and sing to your music. Embrace your blessings. Make today worth remembering.”

― Some words by Steve Maraboli 


"Before you speak to me about your religion,
first show it to me in how you treat other people;

before you tell me how much you love your God,
show me in how much you love all His children;
before you preach to me of your passion for your faith,
teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors.
In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell
as in how you choose to live and give."

 Cory Booker


"From my point of view all things originate with the mind. The quality of our actions depends on our motivation. A real appreciation of humanity, compassion, and love are crucial to this. Whether we work in science, agriculture, or politics, if we’re good hearted about it, our contribution will be positive."

― Dalai Lama


Elle :)